What's love got to do with it?

Taken from: http://www.smscs.com/photo/romantic_wallpapers_
of_kiss.html#.UXwlAaI3tsM, however there is a deviantart.com
profile: caramellina.

Recently I have been having a discussion with a few friends about love and romance and sex, and though these discussions are rather interesting, I'm slowly beginning to see a huge rift in what we used to believe Love is and what Love is becoming.  This scares me to a point that it actually causes me to stay awake at night with my pen in my hand writing out and thinking.

These aspects that we have been discussing have me pondering a lot about my role of a writer.

Should I just play to the current trend?  It'll sell books.  It'll sell stories.

Or should I hold to the truths that I have learned either the hard way or through careful study, dreaming, idealism, and faith in a higher standard of life?  This will make me enemies, but then I won't be a tool like just about every pop star out there concerned with the green.

That is sort of a point, once our concerns float toward money, we sell out that which we all long to understand: the greater purpose.  "Doesn't matter, I gots my millions," some will say.  But, if I have taken the world, and I have burned it to ashes....what's it's value?

Cautionary note -- this isn't meant as a dig on anyone, I'm merely taking a moment to explain my personal thoughts.  I apologize if anyone feels offended, that is not my intention.

The first of these issues I've waded into is the concept of "sexual compatibility".  This is a funny sort of topic, by it's own name it suggests that humans aren't sexually compatible by nature, that we must find that specific puzzle piece.  So in other words we may find that perfect someone, but...geeze in bed...it's iffy.  From what I've learned, sex is something that is learned and taught and brought to its greatest heights with someone you're free to be as you are.  It's something you teach and something you learn.  Of course it can be clumsy and awkward at first, but imagine if the person you're with really cares for you, really loves you, and really has the greatest of hopes for you.  Over time, as the pair grow together and the pair grow closer, then compatibility won't be an issue, it'll be achieved and multiplied and powerful.  That's why this is a non-issue.  We may not be great in the sack right from the box, but with love and devotion, we can be ecstasy.

So what about sex without emotional attachment?  Yeah, another topic I've walked into.  This--well basically this is a lie to ourselves.  "Yeah I had sex with my best friend, but it didn't mean anything.  Just had to YOLO."  Okay, so, here are some questions to ask.  1) Do you remember what happened, such as little images in your head?  2) Have you discovered things you enjoyed with one person?  3) Do you have ideas of what someone else may enjoy?  Each of these three would be considered an emotional attachment.

1 - 2 - 3. Any of those three are now set against the person you may meet next and choose to share your sheets with.  You have now set up a standard to measure someone who may end up becoming the greatest love of your life, by.  Doesn't that seem a little unfair?  Which this also goes right back up to sexual compatibility.  Now you're making the standard for compatibility that much more difficult.

So, I'll take those two pot-shots and see what fallout I may receive next.

Now, I bet the question has been raised: so what does this all have to do with writing?

That's easy.  Mass media culture is telling people -- this is what love is.  This is what sex is.

However, the sexuality and the moments that are expressed in songs and television and books are only a small, micro moment of love.  They hare hardly the full compassing aspects.  We, as creators of media, need to be telling the whole story.  We need to be responsible for our creation.  If a singer writes a song about getting drunk, getting laid, and how great it is, they need to be standing in a rape crisis center and comforting girls who got raped while drunk because part of the outcome of their message will be a dark side.  These media pop stars need to be supporting programs that will help protect children who are obtaining their messages and educating them on reality.